rupindah:

I’m really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don’t care

noellfisher:

why do bad movies happen to good actors

unregardless:

hey yo

be nice to people

bc most people are already sad so like

why be mean

easterbunnymund:

IM LAUGHING ASO HARD AT THID WHAY THE FRICK

scraggay:

mom do you think i look okay in these nudes

sleepythug:

can I get nutrition facts on that pussy?

robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

teatattoo:

what’s up with those mid-sized towels? they’re too big to be hand towels and too small to be bath towels but we still have like 50 of them?? I do not understand.

f0xface:

i’m afraid sex will sound the same as when you stir potato salad and that’s why i’m staying a virgin

allmonds:

sluttyoliveoil:

allmonds:

stand:

I

I DONT GET IT SOMEONE EXPLAIN

i understand

THEN FUCKIBG TELL ME